Unmotivated

Sorry I haven't checked in for a while. I sort of stopped doing 5:2 or anything like it lately. Been feeling a bit unmotivated. Which isn't great since Summer is upon us in a few short months. The good news is I've been maintaining my weight loss of 6 lbs! Which I am sort of surprised by since I have been not so good a few times each week. All in all I am still calorie counting weekly. 

This coming week I want to get back to doing something like 5:2, but maybe doing slightly higher, like 600 to 700 calories, 2 days a week. I still need to lose about 6 lbs to feel like myself again! 11 lbs would be ideal but lets not get picky ;)  

Something new

I decided to try something new. I hate to think of it as failing and more along the lines of shuffling. Doing 5:2 for over 2 months was hard. I lost 6 lbs but I feel it is time to move on. Last week I started feeling woozy, like I was going to pass out. So I had something to eat and felt immensely better. Then I contemplated what 5:2 really is about. It is restricting calories for 2 days. So at that point I decided that 5:2 had been very good to me but I wanted something more.. to be less hungry/woozy feeling but still gain the weight loss benefits. 

I looked into calorie cycling (also called zig-zagging). My format is this: 1,000 calories for 3 days and 1500 for the other 4 days. This gives me 9,000 cal a week which should still result in fat loss. Doing 5:2 I noticed I was averaging about the same, 9,000. Anyway so far so good. I don't feel horrid anymore and I am still exercising as much as time permits and using my fitbit. I'm optimistic at this point and feeling healthier. Maybe it will be a matter of going back and forth.. doing 5;2 or zig zagging. We will see..  

Whoo!

I weighed in today and I finally lost that pesky pound! I am thrilled. Tom said it would happen and that I needed to just stick it out. Fast day yesterday was pretty hard though. I was SO hungry after my chicken and broccoli dinner. I find that it is easier to stay on 5:2 if I do a lot of repeat meals. So I'm still doing the following on fast days: coffee & hard boiled egg for breakfast, soup (light Progresso kind) for lunch and dinner is either chicken or tilapia with veggies or turkey sausage sautéed in chicken broth with bell peppers and onions. I'm not bored of these meals yet and Tom hasn't complained yet haha. 

It's been about 2 months on the fast (I started on 1/11/2016). So 6 lbs down in 2 months is not bad. I wish it were falling off faster but I am learning I need to be patient because this is my long term goal. I think I will be pretty happy with another 11 lbs lost. But I have 1 more pound to lose and I won't be in the 'overweight' category (according to the BMI chart, which I think is BS). 

Ugh

I have forgotten to make my progress updates. I think I am more annoyed at not having lost anything in almost 2 weeks. But at least I am maintaining my 5 lb loss so far. So that's good. The 5:2 is still going well. Fast days are hard but I keep on going knowing the next day I can eat normally again. I stopped tracking calories on my fitness pal because I hated feeling obsessed over it. I refuse to go through my life tracking every bite I put into my mouth. So now I'm just counting calories on paper on fast days only, nothing more. I hope it's just a weird hormone thing keeping the weight loss from happening. We'll see. 

Finally

I have to admit I've been a little blue the last 2 weeks. I didn't lose anything and was feeling defeated. I expressed this to Tom, my husband, who said I just needed to power through it. He is the sweetest most supportive man I could have married. I am so lucky he found me, especially when he did. I was at one of my lowest points when he messaged me on myspace in 2008. But I digress. I did as he told me, knowing in my heart he would be right- he always is. 

We changed up the fast day this week from Monday to Sunday because Tom works on his feet all day Mondays and it's too hard. It was surprisingly easy sticking to it while being home, around our food all day haha. I went to bed starving though. My stomach hurt from hunger pangs. But it paid off because I lost another pound! Finally!!! So 6 weeks in on the 5:2 diet and I am down 5 lbs. It's going slower than I thought but I am getting there. 

Oh I also amped up my steps with my fitbit. My friend Neil from Texas sent me a 'workweek hustle' challenge. Now I have NEVER considered myself a competitive person. But belonging to that challenge proved that I am haha! I was using my lunch time to get outside and take brief 20 min walks, and using my treadmill a lot more. So I plan on keeping that up too, rather than my lazy 2 to 3 day half-assed work outs. Oh, i came in 4th on the challenge out of 8. I just couldn't let myself be last lol! 

I always read weight loss stories posted online and they all say the same- the weight didn't appear overnight. It was gradually put on, so it will gradually come off. I am trying to hold onto that. I only have about 7 more lbs to go before I can really feel I am getting there. Then an added 5 more (for my next mini goal), so 12 lbs altogether to lose. So hopefully in the next 3 months I will be there. But if not, I will keep doing this because of the way I feel. I am eating far less than I ever was before and the added energy is pretty great :) 

Nada

Weigh in this week resulted in 0 loss :( I'm a little disappointed but not derailed. Nothing in life is going to give without the effort so I just keep on keepin' on. I know it will happen when it needs to. And it doesn't help I'm ovulating and pretty bloated again this week. I swear I feel like it's always hormones keeping a girl down haha. 

We went out to dinner last night, for sushi. And I ordered 2 rolls. It reminded me of the times Tom and I would go for AYCE at the sushi bar and I could easily kill 4 rolls, miso soup and the tempura appetizer. Long gone are those days. The place we went to last night makes very large rolls. Some of the biggest I've ever seen. So big, in fact, that I took a complete roll home with me because I couldn't finish the 2 I ordered. No weight lost this week but my appetite sure is shrinking. I get full much faster now. So no hope lost this week either :)  

I am SO happy to report that I am down another pound this week! 4 lbs lost so far. I am averaging about a pound lost each week. And I feel amazing!! I hope to be at my goal weight by early April, just in time for the hot weather. Something I've noticed- I get colder a lot more with less body fat. I feel like losing these few pounds really lessens my hot flashes. Yay! Ok i don't have much time, just wanted to do a quick check in :) 

Nada

This week wasn't so hard, not like last week's was but it's still trying. Especially since I am PMS'ing haha. Disappointingly I didn't lose any weight :( Bummer! I'm super bloated though since my period is due so I'm trying to not get too upset about it. Onward and upward! Tomorrow starts my 4th week of doing 5:2 and I hope I lose at least another pound. At this point I'd be happy with even a half pound though since I don't have much to lose... 

A quote I read this week

I titled my blog Here goes nothing last week.  I didn't think too deeply into it, but I came across a quote about it yesterday that made me smile. It went "Thinking 'here goes nothing' could be the start of everything." ~ Drew Wagner. It really hit home for me.  I'm an all or nothing type of girl. I'm either in it to win it or I don't give a shit. There is no in between, and I've always been that way. That quote meant a lot to me and I hold it close to my heart through this weight loss journey. 

Thursdays fast went well. I'll admit it was a difficult week but I think I made it hard on myself by what I chose to eat for lunch on my fast days (extremely low calorie soups). They just weren't filling at all and there wasn't enough protein in them. I am better equipped now for the coming week with heftier soups, still low calorie but more protein.

My weigh in yesterday did not disappoint. I did a little victory dance in my undies haha. I lost another pound. So 2.5 down in the last 2 weeks. It is slow going but to be expected since I truly would be happy with a 15 to 20 pound loss.  My favorite pants are already feeling loose. I had to keep pulling them up this week (time to dig out a belt). And I swear my face is looking slimmer. Tom was laughing at me and joked that an almost 3 pound loss on my 5'3 frame is like 20 pounds on a very overweight person. I agreed because essentially it is. I have a medium frame and am petite so I carry the extra weight in a not so flattering way. I'm not bashing myself, just stating the obvious- that I should have always watched what I put into my mouth. 

Anyway, winding down now. I'm extremely happy with my progress thus far. I am getting fuller on less now and oddly enough I seem to really savor food more than I did before. Funny how that works.

Yesterday

Man, yesterday was hard. Probably my most difficult day fasting. I think it had a lot to do with me ovulating and craving everything under the sun.  Tom had a great suggestion- he told me to write everything I was craving down so i could look at it in the morning and see if it still sounded good. Here is my list that I made last night while lying in bed: Mcdouble with fries, fish tacos from Rubio's, Sushi from Big Tuna, baguette from Panera, pancakes, and cupcakes from Nadia cakes. 

Oddly enough I woke up thinking all of the above sounded absolutely disgusting haha. With the exception of the baguette cause YUM carbs! Anyway I wanted to give myself a little pat on the back for not caving in and sticking to it. I managed to clock in at 450 calories on day 3 of my fast. Today I am trying to do low carb. Thursday is my next fast day. It's funny how I look forward to a fast day after eating normally for a few days. My body is definitely speaking volumes. Ok back to work now! 

Here goes nothing

I love the feeling that I get when I am brand new to something. The complete newness and openness of the learning process. I wanted to document some things and see how far I go in my little 'self' project. So here goes nothing. 

I grew up a skinny kid. My parents took care of what I was allowed to eat. They fed me well with the occasional treat. Of course as time goes on, good genes aren't always so great. I got a desk job at 22 and it went down hill from there. Now here I am, many years later, trying to lose the weight. It isn't a lot but its enough for me to feel concerned at this point. My sleep is erratic, I am tired all the time and I obsess over food. Not in a healthy way. I eat too much and when I'm not eating, I am thinking of it. It is disgusting. I disgust myself. I don't feel attractive anymore, especially out of clothes. I want the old me back. I've also tried countless things to lose weight- Nutrisystem, Weight Watchers, Atkins, 3 day diet, etc. Nothing would let me lose more than a pound or 2. My body is stubborn. And tired. And still, the insomnia is relentless- I cannot handle it anymore. This body is trying to tell me something. 

Quite a few weeks ago, I started watching a documentary on intermittent fasting by Dr Michael Mosley. For the 1st time in a long time, something in me clicked. It made sense. My body is trying to tell me I need a break from food. Food has been making me ill, and fat. I started researching intermittent fasting religiously. I bought his book, The Fast Diet, which is incredibly rich with knowledge, studies and facts on fasting. I am about mid way through it. 

I embarked on my 5:2 diet this week. It is where you pick 2 days, non consecutive, to eat less than 500 calories and eat as normal the remaining 5 days . I knew I could do it because I hadn't been eating breakfast for about a month to cut back on calories and my appetite. I'm not hungry in the morning anyway. Week 1 weigh in went great! I lost 1.5 lbs which for me is awesome. I have an extremely hard time losing weight any way I try it. I have to say I have already been feeling more energetic. I can tell when I am truly hungry versus just wanting to shove my face. I drink a shit ton more water now (adding lemon or orange slices!).  And my appetite has been so much smaller! I am stuffed after about half of what I normally would eat. 

Anyway this is my first blog, after my 1st week of fasting and I am going to try to remember to do these updates weekly. I am looking forward to wearing a bathing suit for the 1st time, without a cover up, in a LONG time. And taking my daughter to the water park and seeing the happiness radiate off her sweet face. That girl loves being in water. I know this is a plan I can stick to because I am dedicated and when I get set on something, I am tenacious about it. And the results I am already seeing/feeling led me to believe my body was really trying to talk me into fasting to renew my cells.